Friday, February 02, 2007
lol, actually thought for quite awhile what to do cuz of different things different people tell me and how i feel. some tell me to just forget it, the "war" is not worth it. some support me(thanks ^^) and my own opinion tells me that keeping quiet meant admitting defeat.
people like kylie, glendon, gianhui, huangyi, meiqi, etc told me to not bother bout them. it's like in a way a smart choice, cuz what for cont this argument when at the end of the day, u know it'll get nowhere.
was on the phone with huangyi yesterday.. i think she also said to not bother about them.
oh btw, thnks for pei-ing me talk though u were sick.. XD
i called kylie today.. it's like.. quite a long time since i talked to her on the phone.. so i thought of calling her and did.. waha she's doing her hmwk.. hardworking as usual. =) didnt manage to talk to her for long cuz i had to go for dinner but she did tell me this, "don't bother bout this kind of people la"
gianhui called today.. so i shun bian talked to her bout this thing since she saw it too.. she also said "dont bother bout them la"
msged with glen and he told me "just forget about it la. this kind of thing is not worth winning. of you win, more people angry. if you lose, you get angrier. Just leave it be. =)"
somehow their words didnt really decisively change my mind though to me, they're usually trusted to be very reliable, saying the right things to do.. not saying they're not, but they didnt change my mind decisively.. probably cuz it's all said out of the "war", that took place in my blog.
i thank phy and jan for speaking up for me in the tagboard.. really glad last night when i first saw it.. cuz i guess many didnt wanna get involved in such sticky situations and make anybody their enemy. i mean, not that i want them to do so, cuz afterall, yea, they're innocent parties.. so i can understand. but im saying that last night i felt support for the first time. in my "war" against so many ppl(cuz i made them my enemies duh), the way phy spoke up for me was really encouraging. like.. she's willing to get herself into sticky situations though she wasnt involved for me.. so im really thankful. ahas
then just now.. i saw meiqi's tag. was really really really happy. cuz while i was thinking that people close to me, that i hang out with more oftenly, arent willing to speak up for me publicly(not a bad thing though), she stood by my side! really thankful to meiqi too. =)
BUT, i must say that im not the kind who would go on thinking that im right just becuz i have support. rather, those support made me think more clearly. if not, i'd probably indulge in that it's-so-unfair-to-me attitude(i'll explain why later) and not say what im gonna say later, to solve this issue, my way. and might most probably continue this meaningless "war".
truth is, there's this "debate" or arguement what ever u call it, that i had with senghoe last night. he told me to tell phy to stop talking after he saw her tag. while i was feeling glad that someone actually stood by me, he said that it was unnecessary cuz it'd bring more trouble.
he said the issue had ended. yeechien had stated that this issue will end. so why continue to ask for trouble?
then what about me? i still had things to say. how is it reasonable that im supposed shut up in MY own blog?
he said that im supposed to be prepared for all these taggings once i posted that complaint entry. well yea, im prepared. im prepared to go even further than this. and if u think carefully, it's them who arent. yeechien tries to prove me wrong by tagging all those, but in the end it just shows that he'd be speechless cuz he was in the first place guilty of whatever i said. those mean things he said about me, was just in an attempt to continue debating cuz he had nothing else to say anymore.
oh ya, bout the faheem's tag thing.. pls la.. i did ask him personally if he disliked me before and he said no. no reason to lie isnt it? plus that day he did sleep till noon. so if u say that he asked u to tag on his behalf, that's so lame.. trying to cover up for urself. if u feel that im "paotoh queen", just say so.. there's no need to try to give urself support by tagging in other people's name.
bout jacky, i would apologise bout that "u realise i nv really said anything about you?" as it seemed like an attempt to cover up what i said bout u. i would explain though. when i said that, i was trying to get out of the fight with u cuz afterall, u weren't my main target of disgression. so it's my fault for saying that.
however, it is still a fact that u provoked me first. u said u had nothing against me before this. i also had nothing against u. but do u remember that u actually kp-ed with me on sunday night bout the oil issue? fine, the person who raised his voice at me was actually hq.. but i just catergorised the two of u together. sorry bout that. but u sure did provoke me. so in that case, u cant really debate.
anyway.. back to the senghoe issue. he described this thing as, i gave them a slap first, of cuz they'd get angry and come tagging such things. so he told me to stop this conflict by not saying anything else anymore, since they've decided to end this thing already.
but seriously, he didnt give a thought for my feelings. if i were to describe it with his words, it's like, they gave me one more slap before saying, alright, let's end this thing. is it fair to me? how can they have the last say??
i mean, would u be happy if someone stepped on ur shoes, and after some quarreling, he steps on ur shoes again and says "let's stop quarreling and have nothing to do with each other anymore" as though he's being reasonable, wanting peace.
that's not the way to end things.. especially when it's in MY blog, and also that it
was THEM who provoked me first.
however.. i do find something that he said sounds right. he said that if i refuse to stop this conflict, i'd appear childish on my side too. fine, i know that. so i promise that this will be my last entry bout this issue. especially when it's all getting clear.
yeechien has nothing to debate on his side anymore cuz he's guilty of what i said. so whatever he says on, would just be an attempt to debate, without much base.
the thing bout ppl in sch disliking me, all i can say is that mostly it rooted from misunderstandings in lower sec, then rumours spread, and more misunderstandings take place. and for ur info, i've actually made up with some of the people.
bout jacky, i apologise for trying to get out of the debate with you through not so good means, but the rest of it, i wouldnt change my mind. afterall, u were the one who provoked me first. and u were the one who splattered vulgar on my tagboard, which is actually very mean(that's kinda mild isnt it? is there any better word than mean? malicious? hmm)
in any ways though, im quite disappointed with him.. cuz of the way he tries to end this thing. and i can say that it is with bias feelings behind it. afterall, he's friends with them. between me and them, he said.
then bout that thought, "maybe i shouldnt have posted that complaint entry in the first place" thing, i wont regret that seriously. it's my blog. i write whatever i want. if u wanna debate with me, confront me directly, cuz it's actually pointless to argue online. then before u retort why didnt i do so in the first place, think carefully if i've done that before or not, before u come kp me in my blog.
it's like.. i was looking through some blogs last night.. i came by my friend's blog(which i rarely visit) and realised he put a sidenote in his blog under his profile section.
"i bitch. i crap. i say what i like, usually irresponsible words that may hurt your feelings. i don't really give a fuck about how ANYBODY (read: including you) feels. not happy? don't read. wanna read? fucking stop complaining."so it's like.. yea.. quite true isnt it? i've seen another blog which emphasizes on
"freedom of speech" too. and bout that complaint entry, it would be that u can come and confront me.. cuz it's quite a personal attack kind of entry isnt it? but do it directly to me. cuz like i said, it's pointless to argue online.
im trying to say, they came to argue with me online, not daring to confront me directly, the way i said they should, so if anyone's supposed to shut up, in MY blog, it's them, not me. and i shall emphasize too,
FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
so i guess this is the end of my entry-fighting with them i suppose. if they retaliate anymore(though i doubt cuz i suppose they might probably want to portray themselves as mature people, not bothering themselves with me? o.O not sure.. but i guess not la.), i would delete the vulgar msgs.
12:38 AM
